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Use the right 'musles'

All good things are brought to you by people.
The Barefoot Doctor, aka Stephen Russell
If you're at all familiar with anatomy, you know that every muscle group can only perform a particular function. The abdominal muscles can curl you up, but no matter how strong they are and how much effort you put into tensing them, they cannot straighten you up again.

Something similar applies to our other faculties. If the 'snag' for you around a certain issue is in the emotional domain, no matter how strong your thinking skills, they will come short of creating a satisfying outcome.
So it's as simple as getting people to use the right 'strands' of themselves, the right 'muscles' so to speak?

If only it were that simple!
We all tend to call on our 'strong muscles' first
In physical movement, we tend to call into play the muscles that are strongest and that we are most used to activating. We also tend to prefer the big muscles (they are strong and reliable) over the nifty network of smaller, more differentiated muscles, even when they are a better fit the job.

If you were trying to teach someone a new movement, you may have to devise inventive ways of helping them locate the muscles that they're not even able to feel readily, and then
SPACIOUS SPACING for bullet points

  • #1

  • #2

  • #3

  • #4

  • #5

  • #6

  • #7

Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

  1. You recognise the opportunity after the event. D'oh! This is the warm-up phase. Every time you recognise an opportunity in retrospect, congratulate yourself, because you're getting better at spotting them.

  2. You stop yourself mid-sentence, because you're just heard yourself turning down something wonderful / helpful.

  3. You hear yourself *about* to turn down something helpful / wonderful, and replace what you were about to say with your new default welcome: 'Yes, thank you'.

  4. You start to see opportunities coming (rather than once they begin to slip away) and are ready to embrace them.

  5. The new default has taken root, and it's now normal for you to embrace kindness and generosity flowing towards you. You genuinely enjoy and appreciate it as the regular way that things happen in your world.
Three stages of changing a habit
(I've included a pre- and a post- state, totalling five stages in all)

In writing this, I am thinking of you, reading these words.
May the future bestow wonderful surprises on you at regular intervals.
Play me a fantasy
Play me a fantasy.
What is yours?

Is it to:
'Speak in front of a gathering
and receive applause' - Imagine it.

'Have a mentor guide my first tentative steps
into a new endeavour' - Wish for it.

'Tell a secret I've been harbouring
so it's no longer a burden' - Hear your wish,
and permit it to be possible.

If you give either of these a go, I'd love to hear how it goes for you.
If you like the sound of using your imagination to tap into your greater potental, I'd be happy to help.
P.S. I will describe the 'Stepping out to get a larger view' manoeuvre in another post soon, and will add a link as soon as this is live.
Photo by Sophia Baboolal on Unsplash
The future is for you to make
Your future is uncharted.

More than that, your future cannot be chartered. It is too fluid for that - more like the sea than the dry land.

Your future is not determined by your past, or some pre-scripted destiny.

It is for you to make.

Your contribution matters.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Margarita Steinberg

I am a Leadership Coach with a specialism in Psychosynthesis psychology. I am the founder of ByHeart Coaching, and this blog grows out of my coaching work. I am also a qualified and experienced teacher, and draw on training in counselling skills.

I work with individuals and couples, as private clients; I also work with organisations through running leadership coaching programmes and group workshops.

A chapter on my innovative learning format using embodied learning appears in the book 'Disrupting traditional pedagogy: Active Learning in Practice' published by University of Sussex Press in June 2019.

In preparation: my first book 'One step at a time: how to thrive in a dynamic world'

Find out more about my work
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ByHeart blog
I write about my clients' stories, about coaching and psychology, current events and the human condition
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ByHeart Blog
I write about my clients' stories, about coaching and psychology, current events and the human condition
Subscribe to our mailing list to receive alerts about upcoming blog posts, offers and events
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