Transform Your Frustrations Into Intentions
I wrote in an earlier post ('In Every Complaint, There Is the Seed of a Wish') about re-framing your complaints into wishes that you could set out to make happen.
In this Part 2, I am going to offer detailed instructions for how you might convert your current gripes into clues to your best future.
Try These Steps
- Hear Your Complaint Clearly. This is easy to do: watch out for the next time you say 'Yes, but...' (or something along similar lines). Instead of nodding sadly/in frustration, put the essence of the complaint into words as clearly as you can. Even this step alone can be relevatory!
- Try Reversing the Statement, and simply spend a few seconds contemplating this 'opposite' situation. "I don't have any support in building up my business" might become "I have support in building up my business". Before dismissing this new 'version', listen out for where it might be true, because any statement only captures a part of the truth, and paying attention to the part that had been left out can be hugely fruitful.
- Alternatively, Try Completing a few Starter Sentences. To prompt your wish to be revealed, I have put together a few 'Magic Wish Sentence Starters' - see further down this post.
- Go Make It Real. This is when wish becomes intention. Consider how the reality of the 'opposite' statement could be amplified, or gather together options for how you could make your wish come true. If all else fails, try simply saying "I intend to have X (e.g. support in building up my business)".
- Ask for Help. If you've managed to uncover the 'wish within' but are stimied attempting to figure how you could move towards it, those around you might be happy to offer ideas. This is now much easier for them to do, because you've taken the step to compile your Design Brief, and it's now only a question of How to get there.
What If I Have More Than One Complaint / Concern?
I've illustrated how one concern/complaint can be converted. You may well have a bunch of them, of course.
In that case, you have two ways to proceed:
- Gather Up All Your Complaints In One Go. This approach has two advantages: if your preoccupations are really front-of-mind, you may find it easiest to list everything that is in need of transforming first. The other advantage is that, once you've made the switch into spotting the 'wish-within' and giving it your approval, you can really pick up momentum. It can be tremendously exciting watching your complaints fall like dominos!
- Convert Your Concerns One at a Time. This is often what happens with my clients when one concern dominates for them. It is only once it has been transformed that their horizons clear enough for them to say 'Well, I feel more at ease around X now, but this other thing Y is still concerning'. This is something to celebrate - one issue has moved on, the next one is soon to follow!
Magic Wish Sentence Starters
Scan through all the sentence openings I've listed - they are designed to resonate with a range of internal states. Try the one that appeals the most right now.
If one sentence starter doesn't work for you, keep moving till you find one that does!
- If only...
- I wish it were true that ...
- I need [more of this] so that ...
- I want to find a way to ...
- I choose for [this] to happen.
Design Brief for Your Dream Life
On a grander scale, this process can be applied to bigger projects and making major changes in your life.
Each concern you feel points to an aspect that will need to be taken care of.
Just as they do in project management, the list of desirable outcomes can then be traslated into a list of steps that will accomplish the journey.
Let's tease out the Design Brief for the future of your dreams!
May your wishes blossom into a wonderful life ahead for you.
If you give any of these steps a go, I'd love to hear how it goes for you.
If you like the sound of using your imagination to tap into your greater potential, I'd be happy to help.