By Heart
By Heart Blog
Red carpet
Step into your new good
J sat down on my red sofa and told me he shouldn't be there.

Given that he had actively sought out my services, and it was our first meeting, this was quite striking.

I acknowledged that he had the right and the power to leave if he wanted. To myself, I thought that J was a self-determining adult, and there was no law forcing him to stay. He carried on explaining why he should not be getting into this.

The penny dropped for me a couple of minutes in: the man was still sitting opposite me on that red sofa.

The way to leave would be to stand up and take the few steps to the door.
He wasn't trying to leave.
He was asking for help to stay.
He wasn't trying to leave.
He was asking for help to stay.
In a few minutes, his brow was less knotted, and the concern that had been bothering him so intensely was receding. The sense of urgency had settled into a steadier rhythm: there was work to be done, and we were on it.

We humans hope, and we fear to hope.
Hope means we could get disappointed.
Perhaps you hope, and fear to hope.
Hope means you could get disappointed.
He'd come with his hope that things could get better for him. But it had been hard-going to sustain that hope. Hope hadn't always worked out so well for him before.

How could he know whether this time would be different? He couldn't know.

He couldn't know for sure. Something in our conversation before had inspired him. So he dared to turn up and give it a try.
He came with his fear.
I felt like saluting him for his courage. And I was glad I'd heard the deeper message of his determination to move towards better, despite his misgivings. The moments of him getting a new angle on something that had felt impassable for the longest time were thrilling for me.

When J arrived for our next session, he spoke of imagining a red carpet leading to that red sofa. This time, he brought the image of something special and festive to get our session started. When the red carpet gets rolled out, it's time to roll up our sleeves and get to work.
Your best thinking has taken you this far.
To go further, you need to expand your horizons, reach out into the as-yet-unknown.

ByHeart Coaching uses proven coaching methodologies to support you in achieving your goals. We add Psychosynthesis psychology and expertise in leadership into the mix, both of which allow you to resolve long-standing tangles, take fuller ownership of your potential and your destiny, and venture ahead unhindered.

Margarita Steinberg ByHeart coaching introduction
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