You still both want to be together. Love and affection are still in the mix, although there are times when frustration overshadows them.
How is it that two people can care for each other and yet find it so hard to rub along well and enjoy each other's company?
More effort does not necessary result in resolving the knots. It takes the right kind of effort. There is an ancient Sufi story to illustrate this point: if you were to tie two birds together, there would be twice as much flapping of wings but probably not twice as much soaring in flight.
That's where couple coaching comes in. With skilful guidance, you can discover the hidden triggers that are causing tension and friction. Once these are revealed, you can make adjustments that harmonise your interactions, upgrade your 'dance' and create the space for enjoying the ride together.
It takes two to tango (Part 2)
Someone might be 'in the wrong' in your current situation. One of you might well feel that the other is at fault and needs to improve their game. You might both be feeling aggrieved.
Either way, upgrading your relating needs to involve you both. Creating a beautiful partnership is not a drop-off service.
With this in mind, I generally work with both partners. My experience demonstrates that this creates the best chance for shaping a beautiful dance between the two of you.
Where there's a will, there is a way. Love, enhanced by insight, can work miracles!
It's not about re-capturing the love you had. It's not about going back.
It's about moving forward. It's about creating something new, exciting and vibrant for the now.
Couples coaching is as effective for same-sex couples as for heterosexuals.
Try the ByHeart approach
I believe all relationships have to achieve a balance between honouring the autonomy of each individual and maintaining a vibrant connection between you. My work focuses on enhancing and balancing these two elements.
Find out if it's right for you.
Schedule A Discovery Call
How It Works
How it works
In the discovery call, we will discuss your situation in sufficient detail to establish what the dominant issues are and whether couples coaching is the best approach for helping you.
I generally see couples for a set of three appointments initially: one with each partner individually, followed by a joint session. Each session lasts up to 90 minutes.
This in-depth exploration allows me to get under the skin of what's going on, and sets out the scope of the work ahead.
We will discuss options for working further together at the end of the third session.
Fee for the initial set of three appointments*: £360